Shadow the Hedgehog 2: Rated KE for Kill Everyone
by Ninstation X
Summary: Sonic Team decides to continue the Shadow the Hedgehog series. To improve sales, obviously more violence is needed.
1. Shadow the Hedgehog 2: Gunfest

-bang bang bang-

"Please don't shoot me!!" cried a woman. "I'm an executive!"

"Like I care," said Shadow. –shoot-

--

"G.U.N. Commander, sir," said a subordinate, "there have been reports of Shadow the Hedgehog harming civilians."

"What does that have to do with Maria's death?" said the G.U.N. Commander.

"Nothing, but people are dying and…"

"If only Maria were here, she'd know what to do at a time like this."

"If she's a decent person, then she'd be trying to stop a shooting Shadow."

"Then let's stop him, for Maria!"

"Or for the dying citizens."

"Maria."

--

"I've quit smoking and my life has turned for the better!" –shot-

-your dark meter is full-

"Excellent," said Shadow. "CHAOS ANGST!"

A huge blast emitted from Shadow. Everyone in the surrounding area was emonized.

"That's it, I'm going to cut myself!" said a blast victim.

The G.U.N. Commander approached Shadow with reinforcements. "Shadow, why are you doing this!?" he yelled. "And what does this have to do with Maria?"

"None of these people…" Shadow started, "will tell me my past, so they will be eliminated!"

"Don't you already know your past?"

"…I want to know my future, and none of these people will tell me, so they shall perish." Shadow loaded his Machine Gun.

The G.U.N. Commander and his forces charged forward, "For Maria!!!"

After numerous gunshots, Shadow turned out to be the victor.

"I'm one step closer to finding out the secrets of my past," said Shadow. "…er, I mean my future's present."


	2. Shadow 3: Children Are Easy Targets

"Who wants some ice cream?" asked Shadow, in an ice cream truck he 'confiscated.'

"I do!!" said various youngsters on the street.

Shadow handed each kid a free ice cream cone with one scoop of ice cream.

Little did the children know grenades were in the cores of the ice cream scoops.

Little Bobby was talented at licking the ice cream, so he discovered the grenade before fellow children.

Without making too much commotion, Bobby threw his ice cream on the ground and ran for the hills. Bobby didn't like his peers, so he didn't bother to warn them.

"What?!" yelled Shadow, noticing the escape. "Hey, you! Get back here and explode like the rest of these kids will!!"

The children's eyes widened, and they quickly threw down their ice cream and ran like the dickens!

"Darn," said Shadow. "No wait, I should say 'Damn' instead. Damn, I'll have to get those kids on the rebound."

The fallen ice creams blew up which caused Shadow to lose some rings due to being caught in the blow.

"Darnity Damn it," said Shadow.


	3. Shadow 4: The Old Deserve To Be Shot

"Who are you?" screamed an old lady. "Unless you're Matlock, go away."

-Shadow strangled the old lady-

"Please stop killing me," said the old lady.

"Tell me my present!" said Shadow, while strangling her.

"What?"

-- At the Senior Citizen Building

"Ethel didn't go down easy," said Shadow. "I hope the rest of you go more 'peacefully.'"

"Yeah yeah," said a senior citizen. "Just kill me after this Matlock rerun is over."


	4. Shadow 5: Population's Getting Scarce

Hit List -

Innocent Bystanders: Complete  
The Young: Complete  
The Old: Complete  
Knuckles: Complete  
Clowns: Complete  
D-List Celebrities: Complete  
Sonic: Incomplete  
DAMN Fourth Chaos Emerald: Complete  
DAMN Fifth Chaos Emerald: Complete

--

"Shadow, you've gone too far," said Sonic.

"Shut up, Sonic," said Shadow. "And unless you tell me of my present future, you'll die as well." –shoot-

Sonic dodged the bullet. "I can see you won't listen to words. I'll just have to defeat you!"

Sonic ran circles around Shadow.

Shadow quickly grabbed Sonic by the neck. "Are you kidding? I'm as fast as you, I have super strength, I have Chaos powers and I have guns. Seriously, you're dead." –shoot-


	5. Shadow 6: No One Left To Kill

"This is quite the predicament," said Shadow. "Without mindless killing, what shall I do?"

-Shadow shoots himself-


	6. Shadow 7: Hell

"Good job, Shadow," said Satan. "Who needs the Apocalypse with you around. Finally, everyone is dead."

Shadow started shooting people, someone died…again?

"Stop that!" said Satan.

"Tell me my past!" yelled Shadow, with a rifle.

The citizens of hell were bombarded with bullets.

"My baby!" yelled a woman. "He shot my baby!"

"There are no babies down here," said a resident demon.

"I just wanted attention," said the woman.

"If you weren't such an evil person, you wouldn't have winded up here in the first place."

"There's nothing evil about loving attention."

"There is when the cousin who also brought macaroni to the family reunion gets stabbed for it."

"It was supposed to be _my_ day! She ruined everything by copying my dish!"

"You could have phoned around to see if any other family members were making macaroni."

"You could have shut up!"

"That attitude is what got you here."

"Go to hell!"

"…"

-shoot- The woman died...for the second time?

"Mwahaha!" laughed Shadow, while shooting everything in fiery sight.


	7. Shadow 8: Hell Level 2

"Round up the souls before_ he_ gets here," Satan said to his subordinates.

The damned souls were now in Hell Level 2 on account of dying in hell the first time.

Uneager to see the result of Shadow's wrath for a second time, Satan transported souls to a bunker.

The question is, can that protect them from Shadow and his guns?

"Ahh!!" screamed a demon. "He's coming! Everyone, hurry inside the bunker!"

-Inside the Bunker-

5 minutes of silence passed.

"Things have quieted down," said Satan, "but I know he's out there." Satan sobbed in his hands.

Noises were starting to be heard from outside.

"_Past!" "Present!" "Future!" -Bang-_

"He's coming!!" cried Satan.

"_Past!" "Present!" "Future!" -Bang-_

After a huge explosion, Shadow busted into the bunker.

"Do any of you…know of my future's pastly present?" asked Shadow, with gun in hand.

Satan didn't say anything due to overwhelming fear.

Shadow smirked and aimed the gun at Satan's head, "See you in hell."

"Hi!" said Satan.

-Shadow slowly pushed the trigger-

"Wait wait!!" pleaded Satan. "I...I know your future's pastly present!"

Shadow's eyes widened with red viens, "YOU DO!?!?"

"Um, um yes," Satan smiled, with sweat pouring down his face. "You were/are a doctor's lawyer."

Shadow put down his gun. "My quest is over."

The End.


End file.
